Ethical Engagement Rings

So, I haven't blogged this anywhere, but I did indeed get engaged 2 weeks ago. I can now expect to really have use for all of the ethical wedding sites that I've pointed out here in the past...and can truly earn the pitches I get from wedding-oriented authors and companies on account of those posts.

The first quandary: the engagement ring.

I was all set with what I wanted. I thought I wanted a ring by this guy. Platinum and diamonds all the way, baby. And diamond is my birthstone, so it was kind of a twofer.

But just in the week we decided to get married, I started reading rumblings on the Interwebs about diamonds and metal and ethics. Read on...

It started with this post on BlogHer. Now blogger Liz Rizzo is talking more about the patriarchal implications of the ring, and frankly that argument persuades me not at all. I don't care what a ring might potentially symbolize about me or my relationship to others, I care only about what it means to us and me. And I likes me the pretty shiny things.

But there in the comments was a link to a post that did sway my mind. Diamonds Are For Never by Anil Dash. Again, let's be clear, it's not his complaint about the advertising messaging of the diamond industry. I really couldn't care less. No, it's the stuff he was talking about about "blood diamonds", and once I started looking at that...well it led to a lot more, including issues with how even the metal in bands is mined.

So, admittedly this threw the S.O. for a loop, seeing that I had previously given him a picture of a ring by the guy linked to above, a ring which would have been available at a jeweler right down the street from us, and said that was what I wanted. And then I got all ethical and conflicted.

Thank goodness I have friends like the brilliant Maria Niles, who have been sending me alternative solutions.

These include: Canadian diamonds, recycled metals, alternate gems, and so on.

I checked out GreenKarat, but was a little underwhelmed by the style. I also checked out a few vintage sites...which might still have diamonds and metals, but represented a form of recycling. But again, the style wasn't up my alley.

I also checked the official Canadian diamond site and found a local jeweler that was supposed to be a distributor. They, however, completely blew me off (cough, Derco Jewelers, cough). Took down all my particulars were going to call me back with whether they could create what I wanted, and just never did.

Maria finally pointed me to Brilliant Earth, and I think this will be the last place I check. They not only have lots of choice, but they'll do custom work. And they got back to me within 24 hours when they said they would...with a custom design!!

And read the story of the company started...sounds perfect:

A commitment to social and environmental responsibility.

Based in San Francisco, Brilliant Earth grew out of a marriage proposal. After Beth's fiance could not find a reliable source that could guarantee conflict free diamonds, Beth Gerstein and Eric Grossberg created Brilliant Earth to provide certified conflict free diamonds as an alternative to current diamond industry practices.

As part of its mission to promote industry-wide change, Brilliant Earth works in partnership with advocacy groups to promote awareness about conflict diamonds, labor and mining issues, and environmental concerns in the industry. Brilliant Earth also dedicates 5% of its profits to directly benefit local African communities harmed by the diamond industry. Learn more about our current efforts.

Anyway, I gets me some shiny I can feel halfway decent about. I like it!

Comments

[Maria Niles]

Yay! Congratulations and best wishes in the blogosphere, though, actually you did slip in a blog mention previously here: http://workerbeesblog.blogspot.com/2006/10/carnival-of-capitalists-up-at-my-1st.html

Yes, I still am your #1 blog stalker ;-)

I'm so glad I was able to be helpful - connecting people with useful people or information is my most favorite thing in the world. I can't wait to see what your custom ethical ring looks like 'cause I agree - I love the shiny!

[Elisa Camahort]

That is comforting to know, Maria! And yes, by golly, you're right...it's right there in bits and bytes (which will have to replace "right there in black and white" for we online denizens.)

Yup, the guy from Brilliant Earth is going to meet us at a Starbucks on a Sunday to show us some examples because that's the only time this month we're planning to be in the City, and their office is closed on Sundays!

Now that's service.

[Anil Dash]

congrats! I have my whole list of aesthetic or social qualms about diamonds, but i realize my post is much more strident or antagonistic than it should be, given that i wanted to inspire a dialogue.

I'm glad it led to you finding a symbol that you're comfortable with, and that the conversation's continuing. Most importantly, I'm always happy when someone finds a partner -- it's like in the movies when the good guys win. :)

[Liz]

Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials!! And glad to hear you found a good solution for the ring.
take care,
Liz

[Elisa Camahort]

Thanks Anil and Liz!

Anil: When I first read your post I didn't notice the date, and that it had been around for quite some time. Obviously I'm a little late to thinking about the issue (having never had a reason) But that's the beauty of the Internet: your words can have impact long after you wrote them.

[Toby Segaran]

I went through this dilemma myself very recently. Fortunately my fiance was excited about the idea of a yellow-diamond so I was able to get a manmade one, which is awesome and guaranteed conflict-free.

I wrote a little about it here:
http://lifetinker.com/?p=33

[d]

Hi there,

I am a Canadian and am also looking for a ethical rings. A google search brought me to your blog.

Just want to add a bit of info to the canadian diamond part.

The mining companies that work up here are the same as the ones who do so in other parts of the world. So your money goes into the same pockets as the blood diamonds.

They are destroying our Canadian environment by making huge pits and leeching chemicals into the water ways. You can imagine what that is doing to the wildlife. There are issues with our aboriginals- land claims and lack of jobs given to locals.

The stamping of the a polar bear onto the ring is ironic, as these animals are directly affected by the mining chemicals and infringement on the land.

I hope people will turn away from the conflict that is inflicted by the canandian diamonds.

[Martin Saunders]

Hi all,

A while ago we tried to setup a website to sell diamond rings but not harming anyone. This sounds easy but it really is not.

For one thing many African economies rely heavily on diamond exports so we cannot say that you should unilaterally avoid African diamonds.

Secondly, once cut, diamonds are completely untrackable and massive corruption limits the effectiveness of the Kimberley Process.

Also, a lot of harm has been caused because of the diamond industry historically so it would be nice to repay the debts in some way.

We came up with the Conflict Neutral scheme where we make a donation to effective local projects to help people when we sell diamonds.

We have a site for the charity at www.conflictneutral.com and our store is at www.ethical-diamond-rings.com. Hopefully the designs stand up for themselves so you get a nice ring as well as an ethical one!

I am happy to recieve comments on this at info(at)conflictneutral(dot)com.

Thanks,

Martin

[Angela]

Why is it so expensive to be ethical? I'm getting engaged and would rather aim money at the honeymoon than have a fancy engagement ring. Thought a created sapphire would be the way to go, but the ones at that website are so expensive!!!

[GirlonRaw]

Congratulations. My problem with conflict free diamonds is that even through you know they are conflict free, there is nothing to suggest they are when you wear them, and by wearing them, creates a desire, then of course market demand for diamonds, conflict free or otherwise. I am conflicted!!! :)